“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished… But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.” Proverbs 6:25-29, 32-33
In reviewing adultery statistics, sadly we see that the:
|Percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional||41 %|
|Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had||57 %|
|Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had||54 %|
And even more alarming:
|Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught||74 %|
|Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught||68 %|
In looking at these numbers, it speaks to the fact that many of you may have experienced a cheating partner.
These statistics get even more alarming by demographic…
Sadly, in my life I have never had a relationship where my partner has NOT cheated. It brought me so low in my life that I didn’t understand what was wrong with ME. I felt as if I was attracting them like flies.
But here is what I learn’t as a victim of adultery and steps I took:
- You can’t change a person. No matter how much you do, if that individual does not get the help they need (counselling) then it will be a continuous cycle. They have to take those steps to change, you can’t force them there.
- Nothing is wrong with you. Thinking it is your fault is nothing but a trap. You were made in God’s image and you are an amazing and beautiful individual. Never let someone’s sickness lead you to a life of depression and sadness.
- God is not punishing you. I thought I was being punished for my wrong choices that I made. Then I realized that God didn’t choose my partners for me, I chose them myself! This isn’t God’s punishment – he has given me freedom to make my own choices even if those choices will come back to hurt us.
- God will never leave nor forsake you. I prayed and cried out to the Lord and HE heard me. He will hear your cry as well, but you need to be obedient to HIS word.
- Keep the door closed. When God closes a door, never force it back open. Adulterers that get away with what they are doing will never want you to leave. If you are going to put up with thier illness, then they will continue to do it and apologize every single time. But when God closes that door on your relationship, you flee and run! DON’T LOOK BACK!
- Love yourself. Love and value yourself enough to never be back in a relationship with an adulterer.
- Pray. Fast. Give. Even with all said in 1-6, the best lesson I can teach you is to always practice the 3 core disciplines of a Christian life. I never stop praying… I prayed and prayed and prayed until I got answers. I fasted to build a closef relationship with Christ and ensure that my steps were now according to HIS will and not my own. And then I gave of myself according to God’s will. This final step is a breakthrough to amazing things and seeing God’s glory in your life!
Food for thought: Being a victim of an adulterer is a painful experience, speak out and seek help. If you are the person who is committing the adultery, remember that it is the Lord’s son or daughter that you are abusing and as with all of HIS children, God does not accept that for long. “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:19
Prayer: El Elyon, God Most High, you are omnipotent, omniscience and omnipresent. All powerful, knowing and present everywhere. To you be all the glory and praise. We pray for victims that are suffering from abuse as well as their abusers. We leave them to you to avenge on behalf of your children. Cover the victims under the blood of your banner Jehovah Nissi, provide them with the wisdom and courage needed to overcome. In Jesus name. Amen
May the God of mercy, peace and love be with you.