“I need you to be silent,” said my Director as we stepped into a meeting. This was not the first time they had asked for my silence. For years, many on our team endured this kind of treatment. Fear was their weapon, but I refused to succumb. Moving from one work environment to another, I have experienced many polished bullies. These are people who present a carefully crafted image to the world while mistreating those under their leadership.
There were so many moments when every part of me wanted to defend myself and speak back. Yet deep down, the Holy Spirit whispered, “Do not repay evil with evil. Bless instead.”
It was not easy. I took my battles, my tears, and my heartaches to God. I poured it all out before Him. Every frustration, every disappointment, every injustice. And God answered.
The Call to Live Differently
In an office overlooking the subtle landscape of the country’s capital, I once told my Christian boss, “I love everyone.” He was shocked. Laughing, he said it was not something he could do. I reminded him of the two commandments Jesus gave in Mark 12:30–31:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (NIV)
I explained that Jesus told us to love people, but He never said we had to like everything they do. We can dislike their actions, but we are still called to love them. Jesus loved everyone, yet there were things people did that grieved Him.
1 Peter 3:9 says:
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” (NIV)
You may have heard the phrase, “Kill them with kindness.” Every time I have done this, I have seen God work it for good. Sometimes the change was not in them, but in me. My heart softened. I began to see their brokenness, the pain they tried so hard to hide from the world. This often led me to pray for them in a deeper way. Here is the truth. They are human too. They have faults, differences, quirks, and in many cases, their own private battles.
When God tells us to love everyone, it is not a suggestion. It is a calling. As children of God, we are not to mirror the world’s behavior. Where the world strikes back, God calls us to extend grace. Where the world demands revenge, God tells us to trust Him with justice.
It is not weakness. It is being anchored in Christ, knowing that the One who fights for you sees every injustice and will vindicate you in His time.
How to Bless When You Want to Retaliate
- Take it to God first
Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Before you speak or act, pour out your pain to God. He can handle it.
- Pray for the person
Matthew 5:44 reminds us, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This is not easy, but prayer shifts your heart from bitterness to compassion.
- Respond with gentleness
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” You do not have to match their tone. Let your response reflect Jesus.
- Stand firm in your identity
Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath…” Your worth and future are not in the hands of people but in the hands of Almighty God.
My Prayer for You
Lord God, Almighty. Holy and Righteous Father. I bow before the Lamb who is worthy of all my praise and adoration. Great are You, God. You are the God of Peace. Forgive us for the times we have not sought to live at peace with everyone. Forgive us for not obeying Your commandment to love everyone. Teach us not to repay evil but to leave justice to You, Lord, who have promised to fight for Your people.
Help us to love and pray for those who wrong us. Thank You for being our cornerstone, the One we can come to with every pain and frustration. We declare that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Purify our hearts so that anger and resentment cannot take root. Fill us with Your Spirit so that our response will be to bless and walk away. To hand it over to You instead of plotting revenge.
Help us to wait patiently, knowing that in due season, You will bring justice and righteousness. We pray for those who target Your righteous. Lord, my heart cries out for them, because You are a jealous God who fiercely defends Your people. Yet I pity them, for to oppose the children of God is to oppose You. Unless they repent, they bring destruction upon themselves. Have mercy on them, Lord, and draw them to repentance before it is too late. Lord, You are a great God, faithful through the generations. Help Your people to stand firm, to walk in love, and to trust You completely. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
My friend, blessing those who hurt you is not weakness. It is the strength of Christ living in you. Be a blessing and be blessed today.
