For many years I lived a life of serving and pleasing others above anything else.
I attended and served in Church in many different areas because it was what was expected of me. I fell in to a habit of doing more and more in Church because they needed all the help they could get.
For those of you that may have experienced this, I am sure you know what happened next. But my case may have been a bit different.
What I now dub as the “dark era” in my life, I used church to fill a gap in my life … My second marriage was failing, my job had a new boss that made life very interesting, I was experiencing health issues and finally I just burnt out.
I was exhausted.
And I wanted nothing more to do with Church.
My marriage was done. I was just going to work to pay my bills. It felt as if every passion and light within me was gone.
I remember after weeks of darkness in my home and avoiding as many people as I could, I stood up in my bedroom and started screaming and crying my heart out at God. I was a good Christian who served and gave my all to everyone…. Why? Why was my life this way.
I heard God saying to me, “I love you. I didn’t create you to be depressed and angry. It is now time for you to not serve others but serve me. Come closer to me… Know me!”
My eyes were opened that day… All along, I had been serving the church and others but I had NO relationship with Christ. I didn’t study the bible. I didn’t like to pray. I felt forced to show my face in church and when I did I was always late… Missing worship. I had done things backward.
I didn’t want to be the person of Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.”
Now, I attend Church and serve in different capacities but I no longer do anything to please man… It is all for HIS glory.
Food for thought: Do you desire a relationship with God more than religious practices?
Prayer: Father, glory and honor be to your most holy name. Forgive us Lord when even as people who serve the church, we do it for other people to praise us and forget that we should always be serving for your glory and praise. Like David, a man after your own heart, may we state with conviction ““One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” (Psalm 27:4) Amen
May God’s mercy, peace and love be with you always.