How to be a Godly friend in times of trouble

My friend contacted me the other day hurting because she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her.

How do you be a Godly friend?

friends helping each other godly woman

You see, you hear so much sermons about Job’s friends and how wrong they were in their analysis of the situation Job was in but many of us would have probably done the same thing. Now let’s be honest here… How many of you when your girls starting talking about a cheating man everyone starts singing the same chorus and talking bad about him… Men I know you do it too!

We have all fallen into the trap of providing bad advice to friends.

Here is what the bible encourages us to do:

Seek Christ first

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” ‭‭James‬ ‭1:5-6‬ ‭

We need to seek the wisdom of Christ before we open our mouths in the conversation. So if it means being quiet and letting that friend see that you are deeply in thought when instead you are praying quickly to God for HIS help and HIS wisdom so that the words of your mouth and the meditation of your heart be pleasing to God (‭‭Psalm‬ ‭19:14‬).


“In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” ‭Psalm‬ ‭18:6‬ ‭

Pray with your friend in that moment, after and continually until your prayers are answered. “for I know that through your prayers and Godʼs provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:19‬

Go into HIS Word

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119:105‬

After praying you should dive into the word of God to see what the bible says on the topic. If you don’t know where to even start looking then Google it! Great bible scriptures to look at are:

  • Jeremiah 1:5
  • Psalm 139
  • Psalm 143:11-12
  • Psalm 34:8-10, 18-19, 22
  • Psalm 71:1-3, 12-16
  • Zechariah 4:6

Get Help

“Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach,” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:17‬

Sometimes the situation is too much for you to handle and that is okay. Help your friend by suggesting they speak to a pastor or elder of the Church or someone you trust and know is a Godly individual that will help your friend. Don’t think you can handle it and fall into the trap that Satan may have for you…. The temptation to give bad advice and slander the accused may be too great. “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” ‭‭James‬ ‭1:26

Food for thought: It is so easy to want to sympathize and help your friend quickly but we learn from Job’s friends the importance of seeking God’s wisdom first. That means that we listen more and speak only when God says we should speak and what we should say. And sometimes that just requires us to have patience. Do you want to be like one of Job’s friends or do you want to be a Godly friend?

Prayer: Father, hallowed be thy name. Your word tells us to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” May we heed this advice and seek your wisdom and guidance first always. In Jesus name. Amen 

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