As I sit on a flight eager for this journey and visiting a new country, I felt led by God to write on loneliness.
I was reflecting on a conversation I had with a friend before my travels. A friend that I love dearly and who for my entire life I have considered as a sister. The basis of our conversation was her sharing with me that she thought she had found the one.
I asked her if he had a personal relationship with Christ and she said no but she is working on him.
My response: “He is not the one”.
I know what it means to be lonely. I know what it even means to be married to the wrong person and still be lonely. Twice.
Trust me when I tell you that my path to being a Godly woman has been a long one and it will always be a never ending journey… But that is for a later story.
But I know that I know that I know…. When God brings the right one in your life there is NO work that you need to do on him or her!
It is hard to be lonely. It is hard to wait. You see others and you want that too!
HE knows your heart and your needs.
HE also knows what is best for you.
Don’t take it in your own hands and decide to find a partner. You will live a life that God didn’t ordain for you and miss the blessings he had in store for you.
Relationships are not easy. And with books selling by the millions today that speak of fairy-tale romances you can get caught up in the hype.
I have to be honest and tell you that when I first looked up soul mates in the bible and realizing it wasn’t in there, I was saddened because it was something I truly believed in.
But God blessed me with a greater understanding.
There isn’t a biblical reference of soul mates, but there is wonderful examples and wisdom provided on marriage relationships and how to identify when God has brought your special someone in your life.
Here is how I changed my life from loneliness:
My faith grew. I realized that I was trying to be in control of my life and not giving it to God. I made serious mistakes in choosing the wrong men. The last of which almost got me killed. Even though I was a Christian with an unequal yoke, it was my choices and not obeying God that led my life into a crazy mess. I needed to not just be a Christian, I needed to be a Godly woman and quickly (hence 911). I needed to to believe in Christ love for me and have faith.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35, 38-39
I needed to identify my purpose in life. I was a Christian leading a youth group and other youth activities but my failed marriages and divorce created a tail spin of depression, guilt and shame. I didn’t know anymore what my purpose was in life. I couldn’t lead young people to Christ with so much shame. I prayed fervently to God for my purpose and he continues to guide me in it. But in understanding that I did have a purpose and was needed by God helped me fill in my space of loneliness. Are you not sure of your purpose? Read here.
“For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3
Use this precious time that you have to reflect, refresh and renew yourself. Take this time to reflect on who you are. I have met women much older than me that have encouraged me to do this from early. Many people go through life not understanding who they are. Take care of you. Understand your value and importance in life. Do something that is a pleasure and just for you, like getting a spa treatment or taking that trip you always wanted to do. Whatever it is, big or small just take time out to renew and reflect.
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:10-12
Lastly, I encourage you to live life to the fullest and enjoy it.
I remember saying to a close friend at the end of my second marriage that there were many days that I was lonely in my marriage. I had a husband but I didn’t have a husband. Many friends have reflected that they have been in crowded rooms and also have been lonely.
We only have one life and it is very short. There is no time to mope and complain. No time to worry about what is to come. Live life in the now. Give praise and worship to your King, Jesus Christ. HE knows and will satisfy all your needs.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Food for thought: When God sees fit, HE will bring you a companion that will compliment and enhance your life. One that will allow both of you to grow in HIM. Don’t rush…. Wait.
Prayer: Abba Father, forgive us for our need to rush and have everything right now. It is such comfort that you know each of us by name and what we need and desire. You have promised us hope and a future and we claim it in Jesus name. Amen